Teacher dinners

Ever had the desire to be critically watched as you take every mouthful of your dinner? Ever wanted to dine with many other people who can't speak your language but still ask you questions? Ever felt like being ridiculed for not eating for 90 minutes like the rest of the dinner table? Well, I have the solution you have been searching for! Come teach English in Korea and attend a teacher dinner.

Working 8 hours a day is a breeze while teaching English in Korea. That is until you are expected to put in overtime attending the dreaded "teacher dinners". For me these only occur bi-yearly but I have heard of tragic cases where they occur on a weekly basis.

Let me step you through the average teacher dinner:

You are advised that there will be a dinner and that you must attend it, approximately 2 hours before it takes place. 

You will leave school at about 4pm and go straight to dinner. You will be eating at 4:30 so you better hope you didn't have a big lunch. 

You will usually be seated with the Korean English teachers but they will speak little to no English as they talk to everyone around you in Korean. 

The dining process for Korean's at these dinners typically takes about 90 minutes. This is an extremely long time to be eating so you must eat very slowly. You must also remember to save some room for the next course as they ALWAYS bring more food out. 

You must try to eat everything that is given to you as to not offend anyone. This isn't as bad as it seems. Try a little bit and if you don't like something, move on to another food. Keep in mind there will always be a Korean staring out you and giving you dirty looks whether you are eating all the food or not. 

It is not impolite to eat/talk with your mouth full of food in Korea. So during your meal you will be listening to what sounds like a herd of cows chewing grass all around you. If you think that sounds bad, wait for the soup. Hearing a table full of Koreans slurping soup is similar to being surrounded by bath tubs that are almost finished draining. That SSSSHHHHRRRRRLLLLLLPPPPPPPP sound will be delivered in full DOLBY surround sound as loud as you would get at the cinema. 

Note: The pained look on my face as I attempt a fake smile